Now that’s Funny — And Ironic!

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This week's post is number 51 — the penultimate blog post marking the end of my first year! It’s quite unbelievable to me that a year ago, I embarked on a journey to write Persephone Rising, and I’m thrilled — and honestly, a bit surprised — that I’ve reached this milestone.

I come from a background of editing and curating rather than writing, and in essence, beyond the writing, that’s a big part of what Persephone Rising has become — an edited, curated blog offering the viewpoints of other writers and thinkers, mixed with musings from my personal experiences, thoughts, and beliefs. And I have no compunction to say that I’m incredibly proud of myself that I stuck with it over this long and somewhat turbulent year.

Since this is the second to the last post for my first year, I’ve decided to step away from the philosophical, from the educational, and from the serious tenor of many of my posts this year and take a whimsical and humorous approach — 20 interesting observations about life with 10 moments of irony thrown in for good measure — Enjoy!

20 Interesting Observations about Life

  • Going to church doesn’t make you a religious person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • Your conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel amazing.
  • Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else is.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist switch places.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Some days you’re the pigeon; some days you’re the statue.
  • Someone who thinks logically provides a wonderful contrast to the real world.
  • There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
  • You will never find anyone who can tell you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  • Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
  • It’s not the jeans that make your butt look fat.
  • There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  • Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  • Experience is something you get just after you really need it.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your wallet.
  • Money can’t buy happiness; however, it’s much more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
  • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

10 Moments of Irony:

  • The Cult Awareness Network (CAN), once a leading anti-cult hotline, is now owned by the Church of Scientology.
  • Before 2012, the largest purchaser of kale in America was Pizza Hut. They used it to garnish their salad bars.
  • The site where Julius Caesar was murdered in 44 BC is now a no-kill animal shelter for homeless cats.
  • The first man to survive going over Niagara Falls in a barrel died after slipping on an orange peel.
  • Bill Hillman, a bullfighting enthusiast, wrote a survivalist book called How to Survive the Bulls of Pamplona. Three weeks after the release of the book, he was gored by a bull.
  • In 2002, a tree was planted in a park in Los Angeles in memory of Beatles guitarist George Harrison. The tree later died after being infested by beetles.
  • Gary Kremen, the founder of Match.com, encouraged everyone he knew to join it, including his girlfriend. She eventually left him for a man she met on Match.com.
  • Before he became a star, Pharrell Williams was fired from McDonald's three different times. Years later, he would help write and produce the company's iconic I'm Lovin' It jingle. 
  • Chinese alchemists invented gunpowder in the 9th century. Interestingly, they were looking for an elixir of immortality.
  • None of the lyrics in Alanis Morissette’s song, Ironic, are examples of irony. As Morissette herself allegedly said, "The irony of Ironic is that it's not an ironic song at all."

And with that, I’ll be back next week with the last blog post of my first year I think it’s one you will appreciate!

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Cooking for Joan

This recipe is from one of my favorite go-to sites, Serious Eats, which usually has amazing recipes and recipe life hacks — I found the 2-minute Hollandaise sauce on the site. Today, given the theme for the week, I thought this “easy” recipe would be most appropriate.

According to Serious Eats, “Boiling water is essential to many recipes. If you have never cooked before, don't worry. It is not as difficult as it may appear. This recipe will guide you through the process, even if you have never set foot in a kitchen."

Active Time: 5 min | Makes: 48 | Difficulty: Easy | Equipment: 12-quart stockpot

The Boiling of Water

Ingredients:

  • Water

Directions:

"Open your cupboard or wherever it is you store your cookware.

Locate a 12-quart stockpot. If you do not have a 12-quart stockpot, you may use whatever size pot you have; in that event, keep in mind that serving size here is 1 cup and there are 4 cups in a quart. Do the math.

Place your pot in the sink under the tap. If you have never used a sink before, it is the large depression in your counter top. 
(If you live with someone else, they may have filled it with dirty dishes; in this case, wash them or simply remove them from the sink and place them in the oven — someone else will eventually discover them there and wash them.)

Turn the cold-water knob to the "on" position. Some people (like my dad) prefer to let the water run a little bit. This is optional but encouraged — if it's a hot day or someone has previously used the "hot" water knob, the warmer water will eventually be replaced by truly cold water.

Fill stockpot to within a couple inches of the rim.

Lift stockpot from sink and transfer to stove.
(Although appearances may vary, the stove is the thing with 4 or more circular metal bands on top of it; alternately, it may be a completely flat black glass surface. If you are unsure, ask your family, roommate, or neighbor for guidance.)

Find knob on stove that corresponds to the "burner" you have placed your pot on. In addition to words like "Right Front" or "Left Rear," there are usually little pictures near the knobs to indicate position.

Turn knob to "High" and wait until water boils. Depending on strength of your stove and amount of water, the boiling time may vary.

DO NOT WATCH THE POT; it will never boil in the event that you do.

Boiled water may be used for any number of applications. Serve hot but do not drink.

Side Note:

Placing a lid on the pot will help it boil faster, with the additional benefit of blocking water from your line of sight, which, as stated above, inhibits the boiling process.”


I’d like to thank these sites for my source material:

http://www.1000manifestos.com/...
http://all-funny.info/satiric-...
https://encwor.blogspot.com/20...
https://www.seriouseats.com/ta...

bon appétit!

Categories: Relationships - Personal Interactions

Tags: life coach , certified life coach , funny observations about life , humorous life observations